Old School:
Where It's At:
Boo-ya!
Intellectual!
Dessert.
Think Pink!
Chatty!
Nerds!
Monday, March 04, 2002
Mercy, mercy me.
Where have I been? I'll tell you. GRAND THEFT AUTO 3. Say it loud.
In this game, you are a thug. You steal cars, normally by throwing the driver out (backing over them optional, but a MUST). You evade the police (being wanted once is a minor inconvenience, being wanted three times is a pain in the neck). You can mug the populace, yes, that means even little granny's pension check isn't safe from you.
You can steal ambulances, taxis, FIRE TRUCKS, and police cars. In fact, our preferred method of escape is to wait until the police hop out and take THEIR car. It can be done, and of course, running over the police isn't recommended, but it is glorious fun.
Killing gang members gets you weapons, and mugging a cop will get you a gun that you can use to target the populace. My sister likes to make paramedic traps. She beats down a few people, snatches a few out of their cars to make a road block (and silence that horn-blowing), and waits for the ambulance. She whacked one and the other started to operate on a fallen soul. His arms were trembling as she had just plugged his buddy full of holes. We figure that she must have been standing on the stairs at a level with the street because she shot the leg off the last paramedic. He stood on his only leg and hopped a bit before he fell.
We hooted and hollered until we needed Depends. I got asthma, laughing so hard.
After a few missions, we got the grenades.
Awwww, yeah.
After two attempts, I was frustrated with the mission, already wanted by the Gott-damn law, and here they were to hassle me.
Don't get ahead of the story.
I threw a grenade at the police station, hoping to wing a few, and I dropped one in that little gang of cops. I was up to FOUR stars at that point, but I was laughing so hard that I couldn't see, and the cops (new ones, I broke the others) did a Rodney King on me. 'Cept I deserved that one. They say the funniest things, like "Stop or I'll shoot, " and they ARE shooting. Or they'll kick my butt, and tell me that they don't want to have to hurt me.
Forget the FAQ, here's how to kill that Noodle guy the EASY way. First, step to a triad and target and shoot him (never mind that rigging up a car bomb stuff), run back to your car. You will notice that his green blip is running to his car. Keep NEAR him. He'll go back to his noodle shop when he thinks the coast is clear. You drive around BACK, beat his stankin' behind into pulp, then cap out the triads (which is totally unnecessary to the mission, but you've got to teach them a lesson).
See you when we get tired of being thugs (ha! Like THAT would happen)
Still Super Smash Bros looks like a neat diversion. We'll see.